Google

Thursday, July 15, 2004

help! i'm a loser magnet

the "inspiration" for this post happens to be my personal fitness trainer. surprise! i have never been the type that jocks go for. oh well, there's always a first time. strange enough, he reminds me of my first boyfriend. the personality, the habits, the maturity level (though mr trainer is actually seven years older.) in truth, he's not such a bad guy. he's sweet and funny, but i hardly know anything about him beyond that. and i find it quite ludicrous that he should keep going on about how he misses me, how he's falling for me, when in fact i am a virtual stranger. i guess i'm quite suspicious of the "love at first sight" complex. besides, who is he kidding? i am no supermodel.

i have to admit, i am flattered by the attention. maybe he sees this tendency of mine, and that's why he's doesn't quit even if i tell him to. as my friend put it, i have a weakness for men who tend to chase. in other words, i fall for guys who fall for me. (which is NOT a good thing, believe me.) it's not that i don't have standards when it comes to men... i just tend to forget what those standards are when i am showered with attention. so here i am, trying to purge myself of yet another clingy, affection-depraved man. i get the feeling that those types hone in on me, knowing that i'll buckle within a few weeks of persistent wooing. but not this time. hopefully.

my track record with men thus far has been, well, disastrous. suffice it to say, past relationships have left me greatly disappointed, but hopefully, also highly enlightened. as always, things seem much clearer in hindsight. i realized that all this time i have been "settling" - and making excuses for my poor choices. not to say that the men i've loved are losers but... put it this way - i wouldn't be caught dead with them now. i should have seen the warning signs when my sisters scrunched up their noses whenever they see my then-boyfriends. i should have seen it like nametags plastered across their foreheads - LOSER LOSER LOSER.

let me qualify my loser standards. needy/clingy. poor choice of words. lack of people skills. cheap sense of humor (i.e. jologs). makes inappropriate comments. minimal social graces (though i think i also suffer from this ailment.) lack of motivation. directionless. impulsive and emotional. pa-cute. melodramatic. and the list goes on... in one way or another, guys that showed interest in me has at least half of the above-mentioned characteristics. problem is, most of the time, the above qualities get packaged with sweetness, sincerity, and romantic sentimentality. i end up just loving the romance, and forgetting the fact that these men are emotionally high-maintenance.

for once i want to find a man who is both charming and firm, sweet and decisive. someone who does not resort to emotional blackmail. a straightforward, logical guy who understands and respects a woman's need for a little romance. someone who can fend off the losers who seem to keep crawling out of the woodwork to find me. until the day i find such a man... i guess i'll just have to keep warding off one loser after another.

4 Comments:

Blogger Elaine said...

finally, something juicy to read!!! hahaha... i've been surfing blogs for an hour now, and your post is my best read so far. what can i say, losers who had been with you are not losers after all. it's really hard to search for the one. but like i always say, there is no "the one"... you make someone you love be "the one".

Thursday, July 15, 2004 4:35:00 am  
Blogger super inday said...

well, the talented ma'am e... i know that there isn't any one perfect person for me, and that all relationships need work. but we all have our own standards in choosing a mate, right? anyway, after a few days of thought i realized that the problem is i've OUTGROWN my ex-boyfriends. what i need / want is someone who can and will grow with me. not someone who i easily outgrow, as is the case with "losers"

Saturday, July 17, 2004 10:20:00 am  
Blogger Pon said...

bwahaha..that sounds familiar. baka it's the messianic complex ..somehow you think you can change them. but they don't.

Monday, July 19, 2004 12:53:00 pm  
Blogger Elaine said...

hahaha... ako naman, i don't think i can change them. gusto ko sila yung kusang magche-change. not for me or with me, pero for their own sake... and sadly they don't! eh tapos di ba sabi nila, pag sinama mo ang fresh na kamatis sa bulok na kamatis, mabubulok din yung fresh. kaya ayun, i give up trying to make someone i love be the one. pero i don't think that makes me a loser magnet. hahahaha!

Tuesday, July 20, 2004 3:10:00 am  

Post a Comment

<< Home