what makes a woman truly attractive?
by Tingting Cojuanco
Many unattached women have the wrong notion that their lack of physical attributes is the culprit for their being unable to attract the opposite sex. I disagree. I think a woman - or a man - doesn't necessarily have to be beautiful to be attractive. Beauty isn't the only key to enticement because beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. Although physical features are a factor, men consider other aspects too. After all, profound relationships are founded on something deeper. This I learned from my male interviewees when I asked them about the aspects that make a woman truly attractive.
A dream girl - an ideal girl - is usually described as one who possesses beauty and brains. The odds seem to be low on being gifted with both. More than half said they preferred one with brains rather than one with just beauty. Why? Well, because after years of exposure to coffee, tea, wine and cigarettes, a woman, despite the availability of outstanding dermatologists and surgeons here or abroad, will eventually look every bit as aged as their chronological years. It's a fact that beauty fades, while intelligence and cleverness last.
I've observed that the most dynamic of relationships involve a husband and wife who are able to talk about both trivial and important matters, resulting in a healthy debate and some animated exchange of ideas. Men and women tend to seek out those who are in the same level of thought and with whom they enjoy conversing. In serious relationships, the gauge of success depends on how one listens and communicates rather than how one looks. A woman with brains proves herself to be an asset especially in long-standing relationships because of her ability to converse with her man. Being with a beautiful woman might be fun for a while but a woman with substance eventually earn a man's respect.
Aside from beauty and brains, what else attracts a man? Even in beauty contests, auditions or interviews, the panel always looks for the "it" factor. But what is the "it" factor? When I sit as a judge in any beauty contest, there's always a girl who stands out. Surprisingly she isn't always the most beautiful one. But unquestionably she is the one who has the strongest sex appeal, a magnetic personality, has self-confidence yet humble. Maybe, that's the "it" factor. Even though she is not outstandingly beautiful, a woman who has poise becomes attractive even in her simplest clothes. It's the way she stands, moves, talks and laughs. Or maybe it's the way she walks across the room. Does she float or sway her hips too much? Does she have a loud voice or a modulated one? Does she attract attention through her boisterous laughter or a controlled one? Yes, the boys take all these into consideration. The "it" factor comes naturally; it's not something that's put-on.
Then there's the sense of humor. Many men want to be around women who always find a reason to be happy. These are the women blessed with optimism and exude a light aura, so to speak. With so many problems plaguing our lives, people make a conscious effort to find someone to laugh with. Men want to be with relaxed women who have retained their childlike, but not childish, attributes. Men want their partners to be able to lift them up when they feel down. Not someone who will complain even about the smallest issues. People instinctively avoid those "who make them more depressed than they already are" or who will buckle down under intense situations. They'd rather be with someone whose strength, wit and positive outlook could lighten even the most serious of problems. Then of course, there's the mabait factor. All boys want their girlfriends or wives to be mabait. Men test our stamina for patience and kindness. Nevertheless, men believe that the woman their mothers will approve of or one that his friends will like is mabait. Ask any man and he'll say that he wants someone who is patient, understanding and supportive. Of course, the purity of a woman's heart is not immediately seen. The goodness of the heart can only be discerned by men who wait and observe. A woman with a good heart is always a prize catch and if a man doesn't think so, then it's his loss.
Finally, there's chemistry. Relationships are symbiotic. For a relationship to succeed, there should be chemistry. It is a factor that entices men to women and women to men. This is perhaps where "love at first sight" comes in. "We looked at each other and bells rang... I could feel positive vibes and electric currents all over my body. It seemed to be a spontaneous reaction!" Familiar lines, right? That is only the beginning. You start to get to know each other and discover no negative quirks and see a future in every turn. Hold it, do you have the same guiding principles, hobbies, goals? Are you going towards the same direction or compromising with what the other wants. One can compromise at times, but never all the time. There are other things that attract men to women like bees to honey. Of course, there's power and money. Women with either or both are more likely to draw their fair share of men towards them for what I think are the wrong reasons so I won't get into that. Many men have for the longest time perceived that having a beautiful girl beside them is a status symbol. "Trophy" wives have wrongly become requirements of high status. High premium is also placed on beauty because of its biological potential. A beautiful woman ergo causes beautiful offspring.
The value of physical beauty has been exceedingly overrated over the past years. This is probably because our multimedia world has portrayed women endowed with outer beauty as more important than those with less. Maybe it's time to change this a little bit. How about capitalizing on an intelligent woman with intelligent kids? Or a woman with pure goodness producing a God-like child? Beauty is not evil. Beauty is beautiful, but it is not everything. Indeed, it is not the only key that opens doors.
Many unattached women have the wrong notion that their lack of physical attributes is the culprit for their being unable to attract the opposite sex. I disagree. I think a woman - or a man - doesn't necessarily have to be beautiful to be attractive. Beauty isn't the only key to enticement because beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. Although physical features are a factor, men consider other aspects too. After all, profound relationships are founded on something deeper. This I learned from my male interviewees when I asked them about the aspects that make a woman truly attractive.
A dream girl - an ideal girl - is usually described as one who possesses beauty and brains. The odds seem to be low on being gifted with both. More than half said they preferred one with brains rather than one with just beauty. Why? Well, because after years of exposure to coffee, tea, wine and cigarettes, a woman, despite the availability of outstanding dermatologists and surgeons here or abroad, will eventually look every bit as aged as their chronological years. It's a fact that beauty fades, while intelligence and cleverness last.
I've observed that the most dynamic of relationships involve a husband and wife who are able to talk about both trivial and important matters, resulting in a healthy debate and some animated exchange of ideas. Men and women tend to seek out those who are in the same level of thought and with whom they enjoy conversing. In serious relationships, the gauge of success depends on how one listens and communicates rather than how one looks. A woman with brains proves herself to be an asset especially in long-standing relationships because of her ability to converse with her man. Being with a beautiful woman might be fun for a while but a woman with substance eventually earn a man's respect.
Aside from beauty and brains, what else attracts a man? Even in beauty contests, auditions or interviews, the panel always looks for the "it" factor. But what is the "it" factor? When I sit as a judge in any beauty contest, there's always a girl who stands out. Surprisingly she isn't always the most beautiful one. But unquestionably she is the one who has the strongest sex appeal, a magnetic personality, has self-confidence yet humble. Maybe, that's the "it" factor. Even though she is not outstandingly beautiful, a woman who has poise becomes attractive even in her simplest clothes. It's the way she stands, moves, talks and laughs. Or maybe it's the way she walks across the room. Does she float or sway her hips too much? Does she have a loud voice or a modulated one? Does she attract attention through her boisterous laughter or a controlled one? Yes, the boys take all these into consideration. The "it" factor comes naturally; it's not something that's put-on.
Then there's the sense of humor. Many men want to be around women who always find a reason to be happy. These are the women blessed with optimism and exude a light aura, so to speak. With so many problems plaguing our lives, people make a conscious effort to find someone to laugh with. Men want to be with relaxed women who have retained their childlike, but not childish, attributes. Men want their partners to be able to lift them up when they feel down. Not someone who will complain even about the smallest issues. People instinctively avoid those "who make them more depressed than they already are" or who will buckle down under intense situations. They'd rather be with someone whose strength, wit and positive outlook could lighten even the most serious of problems. Then of course, there's the mabait factor. All boys want their girlfriends or wives to be mabait. Men test our stamina for patience and kindness. Nevertheless, men believe that the woman their mothers will approve of or one that his friends will like is mabait. Ask any man and he'll say that he wants someone who is patient, understanding and supportive. Of course, the purity of a woman's heart is not immediately seen. The goodness of the heart can only be discerned by men who wait and observe. A woman with a good heart is always a prize catch and if a man doesn't think so, then it's his loss.
Finally, there's chemistry. Relationships are symbiotic. For a relationship to succeed, there should be chemistry. It is a factor that entices men to women and women to men. This is perhaps where "love at first sight" comes in. "We looked at each other and bells rang... I could feel positive vibes and electric currents all over my body. It seemed to be a spontaneous reaction!" Familiar lines, right? That is only the beginning. You start to get to know each other and discover no negative quirks and see a future in every turn. Hold it, do you have the same guiding principles, hobbies, goals? Are you going towards the same direction or compromising with what the other wants. One can compromise at times, but never all the time. There are other things that attract men to women like bees to honey. Of course, there's power and money. Women with either or both are more likely to draw their fair share of men towards them for what I think are the wrong reasons so I won't get into that. Many men have for the longest time perceived that having a beautiful girl beside them is a status symbol. "Trophy" wives have wrongly become requirements of high status. High premium is also placed on beauty because of its biological potential. A beautiful woman ergo causes beautiful offspring.
The value of physical beauty has been exceedingly overrated over the past years. This is probably because our multimedia world has portrayed women endowed with outer beauty as more important than those with less. Maybe it's time to change this a little bit. How about capitalizing on an intelligent woman with intelligent kids? Or a woman with pure goodness producing a God-like child? Beauty is not evil. Beauty is beautiful, but it is not everything. Indeed, it is not the only key that opens doors.
posted by super inday at 12:04 pm
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