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Monday, August 02, 2004

happily ever single

my high school classmate got married yesterday. her wedding was like a fairytale come true, from the knight in shining armor to the blooming bride. any other girl would love to be in her wedding shoes, even if it wasn't the right size. by the end of the night i was looking for end credits, and the signature "and they lived happily ever after" banner.

it was a picture-perfect wedding, but i was not the least bit jealous. i know my wedding day is a long way off, if it ever comes. last night, i simply enjoyed witnessing the beginning of a beautiful marriage of an equally beautiful couple. the circumstances made me strongly aware of my singlehood, but it didn't make me uncomfortable. no wishful thinking of finding my prince charming and having all my dreams come true.

maybe i'll get married, maybe i won't. what matters is that i'm content with where i am now.

i love being single. it comes from knowing that god is preparing someone for me, and that he’s also preparing me for that someone. i smile at the anticipation. it’s the strangest feeling, knowing that there is someone out there that god has planned for you, but not knowing who it is, when you’ll meet, and how you’ll fall in love. the mystery intrigues me. truth is, i’m giddy with excitement. at knowing that god will surprise me by bringing that someone into my life when i least expect it, in a way that will make all those old romance novels seem like silly daydreams. i’m not expecting a knight in shining armor to come sweep me off my feet. but i believe that the moment god presents to me the one i am meant to spend my life with, it will be a dream come true. because it was a match made in heaven.

you might find it strange that i speak with such conviction about finding and meeting the right one. yes, it has crossed my mind that i might end up being single the rest of my life. and i’m okay with that. if god feels that i will be more effective in doing his work by not getting married, so be it. but deep down inside i want to fall in love, get married, and have kids. i told as much to the lord, and he simply said, ‘i know’. i can just imagine him smiling at me as he said that, and his smile tells all. he knows what I want, but much more than that, he knows what i need. and he’ll provide me with the love and affection i long for at the exact time i need it. which is why I’m perfectly content being unattached. because god is affirming that i am at a point in my life when being single is the best thing. for me, for now. and he’ll show me love when it’s the right time. when that love comes, it would be for me, forever.

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