garbled thoughts

a few notes before i go on an out-of-town trip and neglect my blog.

• i've said it before and i'll say it again - family vacations are always stressful. we're leaving first thing tomorrow morning, and as it is now, my parents are having drastic mood swings. hooo boy...


• my sister just got herself a string bikini. my YOUNGER sister. i feel conflicted about it. the farthest i've gone is a tankini, and even then i felt so... exposed. and incredibly flabby. ugh. turns out our YOUNGEST sister already has a flaming red bikini set. am i the only sister in this household who feels uneasy showing skin in a public place??? which also leads to...


• new wardrobe. just recently our church pastors and advisers have been clamping down on the ladies' dress code. i'm not saying i am unaffected... but i'm not the most flagrant violator, i'll tell you that. now i'm having second thoughts about the kinds of clothes i have, or i want to buy. which includes a string bikini. the elders' point is that we're beginning to dress "immodestly" and this leads to guys "stumbling" - which i totally understand. so again, i don't know if i should tell my sisters to NOT wear string bikinis on the beach. ok, they can argue that dressing is venue-dependent... they wouldn't wear bikinis to sunday worship. point taken. but the church sanctuary isn't the only place with roving male eyes. sigh. i guess i'm turning into a prude. what can i say, i feel that i look better fully clothed. (just shows how comfortable i am with my own body.)


• on a totally unrelated topic... i went to my previous office's christmas party. i only knew a third of the people there, but still i had fun. just seeing so many happy people made me feel happy, too. it was totally different from our office christmas party. (actually, christmas dinner.) i enjoyed both, but on different levels, for different reasons. what i appreciated at today's christmas party was the gift-giving... they got each other presents that the receiver absolutely loved. the glow on their faces when they opened their presents... it was something else. it was genuine. just thinking about it can help me go through a few stress episodes with a smile on my face.


• speaking of shallow matters now... i got extra cash!!! woohoo!!! thirteenth month pay from my old firm. (yes, same office as above.) unfortunately, i've been spending more on myself these past few months. have to curb the compulsion to keep buying things i want but don't necessarily need. like a cute string bikini. (yes, we are back on that topic. i have a one-track mind.)


• for the first time in my adult life (read: above 18), i got my parents christmas presents. as in i went and shopped for them. and i spent hours scouring malls and shops (for my mom's present, anyway. dad's was pretty easy.) it made me happy just getting them something for christmas. gift-giving is kind of passe in this household... i was the only one who got anyone anything this year. i know christmas isn't about the gifts. but i can't help but feel that my family doesn't appreciate christmas the way i want them to.

it's almost 24 hours until christmas. and yet sitting here inside my house, i could mistake it for just another summer's day.