one-dimensional
warning - author is undergoing identity crisis.
the past few weeks i've been meeting all sorts of interesting people. people who cannot normally be found in my social circle. (or circles, since i move in different groups.) and i have come to one conclusion. i have no depth.
when i see myself vis-a-vis these people, i come out as BLAH.
okay, arguably, i'm not as boring as some (maybe most?) people i know. but these days, i seem to be running into individuals who are farther (as in way up there) in the unique personality scale. i feel so frumpy around them. like i have nothing to offer in their interesting conversations, no insightful comments or funny remarks that shows how brilliant or witty or cultured i am.
a one-dimensional personality, that's what i have. even compared to my younger sister, i'm pretty duh. and it depresses me. is this all i have to offer the world??? my blah-ness???
my sister said it's partly 'cause of our environment; we're surrounded by small-minded people. (and i thought i was an intellectual snob.) lack of intellectual stimuli = dull brains and bland personalities. i have to agree. not many open-minded, forward-thinking people in philippine society. which is another reason for me to leave. hahaha.
i don't want to be blah for the rest of my life. there are so many things i want to do and places i want to see and people i want to meet. unfortunately, present conditions (i.e. parental restrictions and an extended-hour day job) do not allow for such personality-developing activities. i guess it's also part of the culture; the chinese are traditionally isolationists, preferring to limit interaction with their own kind. which again, puts us in a very small box and makes for very one-dimensional people. not to mention irrationally arrogant. (i can go into detail with my family, but i think i'll pass.) and work - don't even get me started. it takes up too much of my time that it pushes out the more important things in life. what a sad, sad existence. sigh.
i really feel like the dullest person on earth. and it doesn't feel very nice.
the past few weeks i've been meeting all sorts of interesting people. people who cannot normally be found in my social circle. (or circles, since i move in different groups.) and i have come to one conclusion. i have no depth.
when i see myself vis-a-vis these people, i come out as BLAH.
okay, arguably, i'm not as boring as some (maybe most?) people i know. but these days, i seem to be running into individuals who are farther (as in way up there) in the unique personality scale. i feel so frumpy around them. like i have nothing to offer in their interesting conversations, no insightful comments or funny remarks that shows how brilliant or witty or cultured i am.
a one-dimensional personality, that's what i have. even compared to my younger sister, i'm pretty duh. and it depresses me. is this all i have to offer the world??? my blah-ness???
my sister said it's partly 'cause of our environment; we're surrounded by small-minded people. (and i thought i was an intellectual snob.) lack of intellectual stimuli = dull brains and bland personalities. i have to agree. not many open-minded, forward-thinking people in philippine society. which is another reason for me to leave. hahaha.
i don't want to be blah for the rest of my life. there are so many things i want to do and places i want to see and people i want to meet. unfortunately, present conditions (i.e. parental restrictions and an extended-hour day job) do not allow for such personality-developing activities. i guess it's also part of the culture; the chinese are traditionally isolationists, preferring to limit interaction with their own kind. which again, puts us in a very small box and makes for very one-dimensional people. not to mention irrationally arrogant. (i can go into detail with my family, but i think i'll pass.) and work - don't even get me started. it takes up too much of my time that it pushes out the more important things in life. what a sad, sad existence. sigh.
i really feel like the dullest person on earth. and it doesn't feel very nice.
posted by super inday at 9:28 am
1 Comments:
Ako den, sometimes.Haha!
But then, sabi nga nila, everyone is created unique. We cannot all be equal or else, mas boring yun di ba? :)
Post a Comment
<< Home