dumb & dumber

i think i'm losing brain power. i have a hard time focusing, my memory is not like it used to be, i have a harder time with reading comprehension. or maybe i'm just reading heavier stuff nowadays. like this article on the harvard gsd (graduate school of design) magazine. i was stuck on this thing for HOURS last night. then there is the reading i should be doing for our new project. i can only do one chapter at a time, after which my mental faculties subsequently collapse. whereas i used to sit at my desk ALL DAY reading materials for research.

and of course, there's memory loss. i go through a material, and when asked to discuss it, i draw up blanks. or near blanks. insubstantial summaries. i seem to be lacking the facility to take note of key points and commit them to memory.

one thing i've noticed as well, i don't form solid opinions on something as easily as my other classmates. i don't know if that means i'm less judgemental, or i'm just slow on the uptake. most days i think i'm the latter. further validated by the fact that i cannot make incisive queries during lectures, or immediately after. i take things at face value, no questions asked. i don't know if that's a good thing. it could mean i understand everything and have nothing to ask, or i have not digested the information thoroughly enough to formulate questions. again, i am inclined to think the latter.

nothing like being in grad school to feed your intellectual insecurities.