hitch

my gal pals and i watched hitch yesterday afternoon. i was laughing 70% of the whole two hours. half the time i think i was the only one laughing. either i totally get american humor and nobody else does, or i'm just that shallow when it comes to comedies. at any rate, i enjoyed the movie not just for the humor, but also for the definite "aaaaaww..." moments. my friend said every guy should watch this movie and learn a thing or two about sweeping a gal off her feet. actually, she said, "you should have *ahem* watch this movie." oh yeah, like that would work.

it's funny, just last week i was chatting with a guy friend. he was asking for some female perspective on courtship and relationships... in the end, i was telling him what to do and what to say. i was playing hitch, so to speak. except that my intervention was limited to scripting conversations and giving the golden advice of "be honest." the truth is, it doesn't take a lot to make a woman fall in love with you. you don't have to be sauve and sophisticated to win her over. just a little sensitivity (which a lot of men SORELY lack) and a lot of sincerity. add some charm for good measure.

what's compelling about this film (if you can actually say that about a feel-good romantic comedy) is that it's all about relationships. about the things that make couples click. about finding the right one and falling madly in love. yeah, the sap in me just couldn't resist. i'm a closet-case hopeless romantic. (don't tell anyone though, you just might ruin my bad-ass man-hater reputation.)

now here's a secret - no matter how cold or antagonistic or uninterested a woman is, a little thoughtfulness and some romance wouldn't hurt. BUT - i would like to make this very clear - it is not a formula for making a girl fall in love with you. it may make her think of you more often, but it won't necessarily give you happily ever after. when it comes to the spark - either you got it or you don't. if two people are really incompatible, no amount of wooing will make it work. but we women sure get a kick out of watching you try. and we DO give points for effort.

men keep complaining of how they don't understand women, how they don't know what we want or what it takes to win our hearts. well, take a tip from hitch. "basic principles - a woman never wakes up and thinks, i don't want to be swept off my feet today." go ahead, blow us away. take us on a surprise jetski trip. show us something different. something meaningful. something you know would touch our hearts and make us all gushy and sentimental. short of becoming a full-time stalker, i suggest that you do your research. better that than trial and *gasp* error. if a guy would do all those things for me, there is no way i could say no. it gives the clear signal that "you are worth more time and effort than a simple movie or a standard dinner-date." and if you're sincere, we wouldn't think twice about falling for you.

sensitivity + thoughtfulness + sincerity = a woman's love.

i am no expert on men or relationships, but i think that if a man really loves a woman... he doesn't need to be told the formula. it just comes naturally. and that's what we women actually look for. (okay, fine, it wouldn't hurt if he's really charming and says all the right things. it wouldn't hurt if he doesn't take FOREVER to come up to you and ask you out. and it would be really nice if he doesn't dance like he's having a seizure.) wait, let me qualify that statement... QUALITY women are more concerned with the intention than the execution. that's how they discover the QUALITY men.

now that i've gotten that off my chest... anyone looking for love advice???