putting price tags
i just got my assessment reports for term 1 yesterday. in short, i got my grades. and i am not too happy about them.
alright, i admit it. i'm stuck in a performance trap. i feel like i need to be the best (or close to the best) whenever i am in an academic environment. i guess chasing the elusive valedictory title in undergrad made a monster out of me. i.e. i became grade-conscious and highly competitive. right now i'm not competitive, but i'm still grade-conscious. (i guess a 50% improvement isn't so bad.)
the grading scale is a bit different from what i am used to. it's still on a scale of 100, but the honours cut-off mark (they call it "distinction" here) is at 80. achievable, i thought. i hardly got any grade under 80 in my whole life. so you can imagine what a blow it was to my ego when i saw my grades in the 70's range. and one in the 60's. ugh. i think i prefer looking at the letter equivalents. two B's and a C. no mid-range letter grades (A- or B+) here. just glaring alphabets that show you how low you are in the pecking order.
okay, fine. term 1 submissions were really not my best work. maybe i have to cut myself some slack. i still needed to adjust to the environment - physical, emotional, academic. let's say there is a 10% adjustment factor. in which case, i am in the A level if i adjust my grades. oh, how i wish.
i am trying hard not to focus on the numerical equivalents of my academic efforts. i am curbing the urge to calculate my current average, and how much i should aim for in the next three terms. argh. i should have known better than to go get my grades. (you have to ask for your report at the graduate school office. they don't get sent automatically.)
everything changes once you put a price tag on it. suddenly i felt as though i am not even supposed to be here. or that i don't even want to be.
that's it. no collection of academic reports in term 2. some things are just better left unknown. after all, the point is to learn. and to grow. not to get a star on my diploma.
right. now time for dissertation research work.
alright, i admit it. i'm stuck in a performance trap. i feel like i need to be the best (or close to the best) whenever i am in an academic environment. i guess chasing the elusive valedictory title in undergrad made a monster out of me. i.e. i became grade-conscious and highly competitive. right now i'm not competitive, but i'm still grade-conscious. (i guess a 50% improvement isn't so bad.)
the grading scale is a bit different from what i am used to. it's still on a scale of 100, but the honours cut-off mark (they call it "distinction" here) is at 80. achievable, i thought. i hardly got any grade under 80 in my whole life. so you can imagine what a blow it was to my ego when i saw my grades in the 70's range. and one in the 60's. ugh. i think i prefer looking at the letter equivalents. two B's and a C. no mid-range letter grades (A- or B+) here. just glaring alphabets that show you how low you are in the pecking order.
okay, fine. term 1 submissions were really not my best work. maybe i have to cut myself some slack. i still needed to adjust to the environment - physical, emotional, academic. let's say there is a 10% adjustment factor. in which case, i am in the A level if i adjust my grades. oh, how i wish.
i am trying hard not to focus on the numerical equivalents of my academic efforts. i am curbing the urge to calculate my current average, and how much i should aim for in the next three terms. argh. i should have known better than to go get my grades. (you have to ask for your report at the graduate school office. they don't get sent automatically.)
everything changes once you put a price tag on it. suddenly i felt as though i am not even supposed to be here. or that i don't even want to be.
that's it. no collection of academic reports in term 2. some things are just better left unknown. after all, the point is to learn. and to grow. not to get a star on my diploma.
right. now time for dissertation research work.
posted by super inday at 10:44 AM
2 Comments:
questions to guide your way.
1) why did you become an architect in the first place?
2) why did you go to london?
2a) what are the REAL reasons you went to london?
3) what do you want to do afterward?
3a) what do you really want afterward, in life?
+++
reality check:
you're an architect now, and you're in the land of the pasty faces to finish your postgrad studies in architecture.
when you finish, you will have a higher degree to add to your name, and increase your marketability in your chosen field. you will have more bragging rights than other architects.
that's all postgrad studies really are, when you boil it down. increasing your market value (with a bit of professional self-indulgence on the side -- otherwise, you'd have to be a masochist to pursue further studies in a field you hate).
+++
do grades matter in postgrad? i wouldn't know, since i've never been in postgrad (being an intellectual recalcitrant and academic malcontent, scornful of all higher learning...and damn bloody proud of it :P).
*classrooms, pfeh!*
i'd hazard a guess to say grades probably don't matter, as long as you make the finish line.
maybe the real price tags you should be concerned about are the tuition and expenses?
+++
now, we've talked about this, but we've only really skimmed the issues.
in the end, only you can answer these questions and ponder the meanings behind your choices.
+++
NOW...
REGARDLESS OF YOUR PERFORMANCE...
WHILE YOU'RE THERE ANYWAY...
ENJOY YOURSELF!!!
:)
i can't stress enough the fact that very few people get the chance to go on all-expense-paid study/vacation trips abroad, for more than a year.
you owe it to yourself to perform well in your studies.
but you owe it to many more people other than just yourself -- your friends and family -- , to make the best of your time over there.
:)
amen! :P
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