realizations
while the office system administrator is working to restore the network drives, i'm taking the liberty to blog all my random thoughts which i haven't had time to write.
realization 1 - i love working with kids. (and by kids, i mean anyone below age 20.) sure, they can drive me up the wall at times. they're hyperactive and uncontrollable some days. but having them run up to you and say "atsi" in such a sweet voice - like you're the only one who can put their world back together - that more than makes up for all the hair-splitting. when they ask for you, and no one else... when, after a working on something together for even just a month, they suddenly let you into their little world through the simplest gesture like waving goodbye animatedly... something magical just happens. you get this warm fuzzy feeling, and you know you've made a difference in someone's life, no matter how small or insignificant it is in the grand scheme of things. (yeah, maternal instincts growing strong.)
realization 2 - i compartmentalize my friends like i do my things. friends from high school don't mix with friends from college. friends from college or high school don't mix with friends from work. friends from school or work don't mix with friends from church. there are maybe one or two aberrations from each category, but that's pretty much it. i don't know if i make a conscious effort to segregate these people, or it just happens that way. maybe it's a little of both.
realization 3 - i know a lot of people, but i don't have lot of friends. (this i've known since college.) probably because i don't confide in a lot of people. and even when i do, i still "compartmentalize" - i.e. i don't tell them everything about every aspect of my life. work friends don't know about my love life. church friends don't really know about work. and school friends don't know anything except the general direction of my career.
realization 4 - i pack and go. (discovered this during my first job.) which partly explains 3. whenever i close a chapter of my life, i leave behind almost everything that came with it. i lose track of high school classmates. i hardly see my college friends. and don't get me started on ex-boyfriends. whenever i end a phase, i move on. no excess baggage. sort of.
realization 5 - i'm not that memorable. (again, old news.) when people draft up invitations, i'm most likely forgotten. when there's a reunion or get-together of sorts, i'm often the last to know. and most of the time, i feel awkward going to those powows because i hardly know anyone anymore. but i still show up. simply 'cause i know i shouldn't burn all my bridges this early in life. but the rift is so obvious that you can almost taste it.
realization 6 - i'm going back to my childhood habit of biting off more than i can chew. i take on more responsibility than i can handle. i'm not exactly drowning in work right now, but there are days when i just wish i could forget everything and take a breather. and those days are starting to come more frequently. somebody stop me before i self-destruct.
realization 7 - i'm pursuing more creative endeavors these days. maybe i've finally reached my upper limit of banality. my life prior to this has been work, home, work, home, work, gym, home, church, home... and oh, yeah, work. so far, i'm loving the change. just recently took another personality test, and it says my career should be in the field of fine arts. with all the supressed angst just itching to come out, i am not surprised.
realization 1 - i love working with kids. (and by kids, i mean anyone below age 20.) sure, they can drive me up the wall at times. they're hyperactive and uncontrollable some days. but having them run up to you and say "atsi" in such a sweet voice - like you're the only one who can put their world back together - that more than makes up for all the hair-splitting. when they ask for you, and no one else... when, after a working on something together for even just a month, they suddenly let you into their little world through the simplest gesture like waving goodbye animatedly... something magical just happens. you get this warm fuzzy feeling, and you know you've made a difference in someone's life, no matter how small or insignificant it is in the grand scheme of things. (yeah, maternal instincts growing strong.)
realization 2 - i compartmentalize my friends like i do my things. friends from high school don't mix with friends from college. friends from college or high school don't mix with friends from work. friends from school or work don't mix with friends from church. there are maybe one or two aberrations from each category, but that's pretty much it. i don't know if i make a conscious effort to segregate these people, or it just happens that way. maybe it's a little of both.
realization 3 - i know a lot of people, but i don't have lot of friends. (this i've known since college.) probably because i don't confide in a lot of people. and even when i do, i still "compartmentalize" - i.e. i don't tell them everything about every aspect of my life. work friends don't know about my love life. church friends don't really know about work. and school friends don't know anything except the general direction of my career.
realization 4 - i pack and go. (discovered this during my first job.) which partly explains 3. whenever i close a chapter of my life, i leave behind almost everything that came with it. i lose track of high school classmates. i hardly see my college friends. and don't get me started on ex-boyfriends. whenever i end a phase, i move on. no excess baggage. sort of.
realization 5 - i'm not that memorable. (again, old news.) when people draft up invitations, i'm most likely forgotten. when there's a reunion or get-together of sorts, i'm often the last to know. and most of the time, i feel awkward going to those powows because i hardly know anyone anymore. but i still show up. simply 'cause i know i shouldn't burn all my bridges this early in life. but the rift is so obvious that you can almost taste it.
realization 6 - i'm going back to my childhood habit of biting off more than i can chew. i take on more responsibility than i can handle. i'm not exactly drowning in work right now, but there are days when i just wish i could forget everything and take a breather. and those days are starting to come more frequently. somebody stop me before i self-destruct.
realization 7 - i'm pursuing more creative endeavors these days. maybe i've finally reached my upper limit of banality. my life prior to this has been work, home, work, home, work, gym, home, church, home... and oh, yeah, work. so far, i'm loving the change. just recently took another personality test, and it says my career should be in the field of fine arts. with all the supressed angst just itching to come out, i am not surprised.
posted by super inday at 1:24 am
6 Comments:
Hey just upon your blog. I like it it's "real". I'm bookmarking you.
A bit off topic but since you're a surfer, I was wondering if you get "nipple burn"? I get this all the time I don't know how to prevent it...
thanks ding! do drop by once in a while =)
sorry, i've only gone surfing once, and the only rashes i got are on my wrists ;) don't you wear a rashguard?
Yeah I got one of those. It prevents belly burn but not nipple burn. I guess that's why not many chicks take up body boarding :)Most are into surfing like you
i recognized "realization 4" a long time ago with you ;c broke my heart.
*sigh*
sometimes it's best to leave things as they are, and not look back. i realized a long time ago that it would never have worked out between us, no matter what happened. so i left.
and i kept hoping you'd realize that as well. and not feel the hurt anymore.
but you've found someone new... why still dwell on us?
i did learn to accept that we could not be ΓΌ but it was never easy to forget the 3 and a half yrs that we were.
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