photo archive #001

the price of human kindness

3:45pm. i was walking to my car, rushing because of the time and the per hour parking charges.

from my left, an old lady came up to me and said "excuse me, ma'am." she was with a little boy of about eight. he was wearing some sort of school uniform, the standard white polo shirt and brown shorts.

in my rush i didn't notice her and i didn't realize she was speaking to me until i had passed her by.

i looked back and i thought, i was just mean to an old lady who had an eight-year old boy in tow. and they looked lost. i wanted to turn back, but the pressure of another 10 pesos was pulling me towards the parking lot.

i told myself i'll get back to them after i moved my car. but i knew they wouldn't be there anymore.

i walked to the parking lot knowing i sold my values for ten bucks. and i prayed that god would forgive me for being so selfish.

it's just one of them days

argh!!!

what makes a woman truly attractive?

by Tingting Cojuanco

Many unattached women have the wrong notion that their lack of physical attributes is the culprit for their being unable to attract the opposite sex. I disagree. I think a woman - or a man - doesn't necessarily have to be beautiful to be attractive. Beauty isn't the only key to enticement because beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. Although physical features are a factor, men consider other aspects too. After all, profound relationships are founded on something deeper. This I learned from my male interviewees when I asked them about the aspects that make a woman truly attractive.

A dream girl - an ideal girl - is usually described as one who possesses beauty and brains. The odds seem to be low on being gifted with both. More than half said they preferred one with brains rather than one with just beauty. Why? Well, because after years of exposure to coffee, tea, wine and cigarettes, a woman, despite the availability of outstanding dermatologists and surgeons here or abroad, will eventually look every bit as aged as their chronological years. It's a fact that beauty fades, while intelligence and cleverness last.

I've observed that the most dynamic of relationships involve a husband and wife who are able to talk about both trivial and important matters, resulting in a healthy debate and some animated exchange of ideas. Men and women tend to seek out those who are in the same level of thought and with whom they enjoy conversing. In serious relationships, the gauge of success depends on how one listens and communicates rather than how one looks. A woman with brains proves herself to be an asset especially in long-standing relationships because of her ability to converse with her man. Being with a beautiful woman might be fun for a while but a woman with substance eventually earn a man's respect.

Aside from beauty and brains, what else attracts a man? Even in beauty contests, auditions or interviews, the panel always looks for the "it" factor. But what is the "it" factor? When I sit as a judge in any beauty contest, there's always a girl who stands out. Surprisingly she isn't always the most beautiful one. But unquestionably she is the one who has the strongest sex appeal, a magnetic personality, has self-confidence yet humble. Maybe, that's the "it" factor. Even though she is not outstandingly beautiful, a woman who has poise becomes attractive even in her simplest clothes. It's the way she stands, moves, talks and laughs. Or maybe it's the way she walks across the room. Does she float or sway her hips too much? Does she have a loud voice or a modulated one? Does she attract attention through her boisterous laughter or a controlled one? Yes, the boys take all these into consideration. The "it" factor comes naturally; it's not something that's put-on.

Then there's the sense of humor. Many men want to be around women who always find a reason to be happy. These are the women blessed with optimism and exude a light aura, so to speak. With so many problems plaguing our lives, people make a conscious effort to find someone to laugh with. Men want to be with relaxed women who have retained their childlike, but not childish, attributes. Men want their partners to be able to lift them up when they feel down. Not someone who will complain even about the smallest issues. People instinctively avoid those "who make them more depressed than they already are" or who will buckle down under intense situations. They'd rather be with someone whose strength, wit and positive outlook could lighten even the most serious of problems. Then of course, there's the mabait factor. All boys want their girlfriends or wives to be mabait. Men test our stamina for patience and kindness. Nevertheless, men believe that the woman their mothers will approve of or one that his friends will like is mabait. Ask any man and he'll say that he wants someone who is patient, understanding and supportive. Of course, the purity of a woman's heart is not immediately seen. The goodness of the heart can only be discerned by men who wait and observe. A woman with a good heart is always a prize catch and if a man doesn't think so, then it's his loss.

Finally, there's chemistry. Relationships are symbiotic. For a relationship to succeed, there should be chemistry. It is a factor that entices men to women and women to men. This is perhaps where "love at first sight" comes in. "We looked at each other and bells rang... I could feel positive vibes and electric currents all over my body. It seemed to be a spontaneous reaction!" Familiar lines, right? That is only the beginning. You start to get to know each other and discover no negative quirks and see a future in every turn. Hold it, do you have the same guiding principles, hobbies, goals? Are you going towards the same direction or compromising with what the other wants. One can compromise at times, but never all the time. There are other things that attract men to women like bees to honey. Of course, there's power and money. Women with either or both are more likely to draw their fair share of men towards them for what I think are the wrong reasons so I won't get into that. Many men have for the longest time perceived that having a beautiful girl beside them is a status symbol. "Trophy" wives have wrongly become requirements of high status. High premium is also placed on beauty because of its biological potential. A beautiful woman ergo causes beautiful offspring.

The value of physical beauty has been exceedingly overrated over the past years. This is probably because our multimedia world has portrayed women endowed with outer beauty as more important than those with less. Maybe it's time to change this a little bit. How about capitalizing on an intelligent woman with intelligent kids? Or a woman with pure goodness producing a God-like child? Beauty is not evil. Beauty is beautiful, but it is not everything. Indeed, it is not the only key that opens doors.

the world according to imelda

little blurbs in the film which i find aboslutely amusing. i never thought imelda marcos would have such great entertainment value.

• when one part is lacking a man is not whole. you can also draw eyes and a mouth, and he looks like a pac-man.
• the seven orders in the world... here is the most exciting part (and she writes the roman numeral 10) the age of the computer... binary system of 1's & 0... when you draw an apple it looks like a 1 and a 0... apple. computer.
• goodness, i didn't want to die with such an ugly bolo. if he were going to kill me couldn't he have used something that didn't look so ugly? maybe make it look nicer, like put a yellow ribbon on it.
• once imelda spoke to me for four hours, non-stop. i didn't say a thing... by the third hour she was winding down, so she put in a tape of herself. then i had imelda twice! one on video and one beside me.
• there's a little imelda in all of us - oh how lovely.
• when i left malacañang there were around three thousand pairs of shoes. now there's only a thousand left, i don't know what cory aquino did with the other shoes.

if i could get a copy of imelda's doodles as filmed in the documentary by ramona diaz, i would post them with this entry. a picture speaks a thousand words. you just have to see it.

telephone conversations

• Hello?
• Hello? (A man's voice. He doesn't sound very smart.)
• Yes?
• May I speak with Mr. Mario Rocha? It's about this property he's selling along Quezon Avenue.
• I'm sorry sir, there's no one here by that name.
• But this is the number that was given.
• Uh, maybe someone made a mistake. (You, perhaps?)
• But I just spoke with him yesterday, on this line.

Look buddy, I've lived here fifteen years, and this has always been our number, and there has never been a Mr. Mario Rocha under our roof the whole time. And especially not yesterday.

• Well, sir, there really isn't a person here by that name.
• Oh really? Ok, thanks.

Click.

help! i'm a loser magnet

the "inspiration" for this post happens to be my personal fitness trainer. surprise! i have never been the type that jocks go for. oh well, there's always a first time. strange enough, he reminds me of my first boyfriend. the personality, the habits, the maturity level (though mr trainer is actually seven years older.) in truth, he's not such a bad guy. he's sweet and funny, but i hardly know anything about him beyond that. and i find it quite ludicrous that he should keep going on about how he misses me, how he's falling for me, when in fact i am a virtual stranger. i guess i'm quite suspicious of the "love at first sight" complex. besides, who is he kidding? i am no supermodel.

i have to admit, i am flattered by the attention. maybe he sees this tendency of mine, and that's why he's doesn't quit even if i tell him to. as my friend put it, i have a weakness for men who tend to chase. in other words, i fall for guys who fall for me. (which is NOT a good thing, believe me.) it's not that i don't have standards when it comes to men... i just tend to forget what those standards are when i am showered with attention. so here i am, trying to purge myself of yet another clingy, affection-depraved man. i get the feeling that those types hone in on me, knowing that i'll buckle within a few weeks of persistent wooing. but not this time. hopefully.

my track record with men thus far has been, well, disastrous. suffice it to say, past relationships have left me greatly disappointed, but hopefully, also highly enlightened. as always, things seem much clearer in hindsight. i realized that all this time i have been "settling" - and making excuses for my poor choices. not to say that the men i've loved are losers but... put it this way - i wouldn't be caught dead with them now. i should have seen the warning signs when my sisters scrunched up their noses whenever they see my then-boyfriends. i should have seen it like nametags plastered across their foreheads - LOSER LOSER LOSER.

let me qualify my loser standards. needy/clingy. poor choice of words. lack of people skills. cheap sense of humor (i.e. jologs). makes inappropriate comments. minimal social graces (though i think i also suffer from this ailment.) lack of motivation. directionless. impulsive and emotional. pa-cute. melodramatic. and the list goes on... in one way or another, guys that showed interest in me has at least half of the above-mentioned characteristics. problem is, most of the time, the above qualities get packaged with sweetness, sincerity, and romantic sentimentality. i end up just loving the romance, and forgetting the fact that these men are emotionally high-maintenance.

for once i want to find a man who is both charming and firm, sweet and decisive. someone who does not resort to emotional blackmail. a straightforward, logical guy who understands and respects a woman's need for a little romance. someone who can fend off the losers who seem to keep crawling out of the woodwork to find me. until the day i find such a man... i guess i'll just have to keep warding off one loser after another.

leisure reading

some thoughts on and excerpts from books i've recently read...

The Nanny Diaries by Nicola Kraus & Emma McLaughlin

"This is an inside story. The authors have both worked as nannies for well-to-do New Yorkers, and here they fictionalize their experiences to protect the innocent--and the guilty!" - Library Journal

step into the world of part-time caregiver turned surrogate mother, nanny. you can't help but fall in love with grayer, nanny's newest charge. the depicted situations may be somewhat extreme, but, according to the authors, not highly unlikely. my favorite episode was, hands down, the teletubbies. you just have to read it. more emotional than thought-provoking, with hints of a love interest and a sprinkling of romance, just to keep the ladies interested (and probably giddy). heartwarming, to the point of bringing out my maternal instincts. makes you want to take care of kids for a living. or maybe not...


The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis

as the name itself suggests, the whole book is filled with correspondences from a character named screwtape, who is a bureaucrat from hell (hmmm...) to his nephew wormwood, a new tempter. the letters revolve around wormwood's work on his assigned patient, on how he should go about dragging another soul into the underworld.

a very interesting read, highly philosophical.

"… the Present is the point at which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the experience which our Enemy has of reality as a whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered them.

… the Future is, of all things, the least like eternity. It is the most completely temporal part of time – for the Past is frozen and no longer flows, and the Present is all lit up with eternal rays."

recommended for truth seekers and deep thinkers.


Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress by Dai Sijie

if i can get my hands on a copy of the original chinese text, i'd read this story again in dai sijie's own words. and i'd spend time brushing up on my chinese just so i can fully appreciate this work in its raw form. (i'm always suspicious of author's nuances being lost in translation) i may be biased towards this novel because it's set in maoist china. plus, it tackles an idea i love to explore - the power of literature. the language is simple and direct; sijie (and translater ina rilke) effectively transports the reader from the 21st century urban setting to the 1970's rural china. properly paced, never boring, with interesting shifts in narration towards the latter part. but best of all is the beautiful, unexpected ending. leaves you with a strange sense of enlightenment, but also with a number of unformed questions in your head.

confessions of a bookworm

"When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes." -Erasmus

i just came back from singapore, and half my expenses were on BOOKS and related materials. i went to asia's largest bookstore, kinokuniya, but (much to my dismay) wasn't able to spend more than fifteen minutes on the wooden floors because it was on the tail end of a shopping spree. i could literally get lost in that bookstore for a day, and still go back for more the next morning. unfortunately, they don't have couches and armchairs for browsing (at least, i didn't see any in my fifteen-minute visit). and speaking of couches, borders is another bookstore i should have visited. book lovers reportedly hang out there until midnight just looking through the collection. mmmmmm...

in the past few days of dawdling after the board exam, i have finally got around to tackling my growing pile of reading material. for the first time since i started my architectural education, i was able to do some intensive leisure reading. and i realized just how much i missed it. endless hours poring over texts, fiction or otherwise, historical or fantasy. that part of me which has an affinity for literature has been reawakened, and along with it, my dreams of becoming a writer. now that i have some spare time, i can finally work on my book (haha).

i don't quite understand why i love to read. it's just been something i've done ever since i was seven. there is something about following an author's thoughts that grips me... i can finish even the most boring or disappointing book. (i think the only book i didn't finish is homer's oddyssey. it was required reading in high school, but i didn't have to take the finals, therefore, did not need to finish the book. but i have a personal mission to finish it within my lifetime.) i still have a pile of books to be read, and i don't think i'll ever have my fill of reading. each time i finish one book there is another that i add to my ever-growing list. as long as i can see, i'll continue to read.

me and my sisters, we go crazy whenever there is a book sale. it's one of the little pleasures we have in life. we're funny that way.