dumb & dumber

i think i'm losing brain power. i have a hard time focusing, my memory is not like it used to be, i have a harder time with reading comprehension. or maybe i'm just reading heavier stuff nowadays. like this article on the harvard gsd (graduate school of design) magazine. i was stuck on this thing for HOURS last night. then there is the reading i should be doing for our new project. i can only do one chapter at a time, after which my mental faculties subsequently collapse. whereas i used to sit at my desk ALL DAY reading materials for research.

and of course, there's memory loss. i go through a material, and when asked to discuss it, i draw up blanks. or near blanks. insubstantial summaries. i seem to be lacking the facility to take note of key points and commit them to memory.

one thing i've noticed as well, i don't form solid opinions on something as easily as my other classmates. i don't know if that means i'm less judgemental, or i'm just slow on the uptake. most days i think i'm the latter. further validated by the fact that i cannot make incisive queries during lectures, or immediately after. i take things at face value, no questions asked. i don't know if that's a good thing. it could mean i understand everything and have nothing to ask, or i have not digested the information thoroughly enough to formulate questions. again, i am inclined to think the latter.

nothing like being in grad school to feed your intellectual insecurities.

sustained injuries

see what happens when you get the wrong size ski shoes and actually ski (or at least, move) 10k in them.

exhibit a. 3 layers of bloodied socks. from left to right, innermost to outermost sock. all worn on the right foot on the day of injury.




exhibit b. blister on right foot, day 3. skin was peeled off 12hrs earlier.

bruises from surfing, blisters from skiing. let's see what i get after i go rock climbing.

free!!!

at last, i have been released from the bondage of COURSEWORK!!!

i handed in my papers this afternoon, over 24hrs before the deadline. applause, applause. of course, it does not help to know that it was four days behind my personal deadline. but anyway.

i have one full day of freedom tomorrow. i am giddy at the thought of being able to spend one day at my own leisure. finally. i can iron my clothes. harhar.

going to stuttgart on saturday morning for our study trip. will have the weekend to do the whole tourist bit before heading over the freiburg. porsche museum, anyone?

and today, when i DON'T need to stay up late... i am not sleepy. murphy's law. then again, i wake up early, anyway. hardly clocked in more than six hours of sleep per day this week. and i'm doing f-i-n-e. except that my appetite has been getting weird. i either have two breakfasts or two lunches or two suppers. i eat four times a day. eegh. i'm sure THAT is not helping my figure.

walked around north central london today. decided to take the slow, scenic route in having my papers bound, returning my book, and handing in my work. window shopped on the way, and had my dollars converted to sterling. which i may or may not convert to euros. i still have no idea how much i should bring with me. oh well.

it feels strangely liberating to actually have time to BLOG. wahahahaha.

my thoughts are jumping all over the place, i know. i'm sorry, this is the first time in WEEKS i have allowed my mind to wander aimlessly. so there.

oooh, going skiing right after the study trip. yeeehaw!!! good ol' r&r!!! travel insurance - check!!!

this is gonna be a great week. i can just feel it.

okay, NOW i'm feeling sleepy. heh.

ick.

i come home to a flat that has not been cleaned in three weeks. or longer. ick.

spoiled milk in the fridge. mould-laden tomato paste. ick.

gray bathtub floor. foul-smelling trash bags in the kitchen. unwashed dishes. and a toilet bowl that has become an indescribable colour.

ick ick ick.

i cannot imagine how these people live in these conditions.

note to self - do not share a place with pigs. again. EVER.

(no, i am NOT cleaning up!!! oh shit. maybe i am.)

time to re-stock the larder.

it's a beautiful day.

leaving.

in 12hrs i will be on my way to the airport. my bags are only half-packed. my design project is only half-done. it's due in a week, with all the other papers. i haven't even started on the other team paper. i think maybe i took on too much responsibility for the team projects. or i took too much time cleaning up the first one. blame it on obsessive-compulsive behaviour. and tendency towards obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. sigh.

have not slept in the last 20hrs. thinking if i should still go to bed, or just stay up until i get to the plane. after all, i need to adjust time zones (AGAIN).

was too busy to meet a few friends. a few friends too busy to meet me, as well. of course, it did not help that my father decided to schedule the family vacation during the week that most people will be available. he's out to ruin my social life, i tell you. just kidding. (did you actually think i was serious?) then there are the friends who did not understand what "please set an appointment" means. (it means tell me when you want to see me, you dolts.) they don't read my blog. they probably don't know it exists. they probably don't even know what a blog is. heh.

this break was extra stressful for me. had i known i will be working this much over the supposed vacation, i wouldn't have come home. but noooooooooooo... 1. my father expects me home; 2. the tutors did not tell us about the freaking schedule until it was too late to change plane tickets. then there is the trip to some god-forsaken pacific islands which shall be left unnamed. not to say i did not have fun... but i could have had more fun doing my own thing in my own time. that is to say, go surfing without those three papers and one design project hanging over my head. but what can i do? it's been established long ago that my life is not my own. that is, until i left for london. thank god for small miracles.

okay, getting sleepy. time for some shut eye.

goodbye, peeps. you most likely won't be hearing from me until the easter term break. which is in march.

for the meantime, just read the archives. i'm sure there's something that could entertain you in the meantime. or check out my blog links. those should tide you over for the next twelve weeks.

now, to bed.